As reported by the print media recently, many companies including Erectaid are making huge profits by selling a handheld vacuum-operated devise that comes to the rescue of Erectile Dysfunction(ED) in malayalee males. Companies sell around 100 such devises per month in Kerala, with the majority sold online. The device helps achieve and maintain erection by drawing blood into the ‘organ in question’ with the help of vacuum! Even genitourinary specialists recommend the devise for ‘select patients’. Kerala, (blessed with pristine natural beauty, high standards of education and health care, low crime rate and creditable communal harmony) aptly once termed ‘God’s own country’ is veritably now ‘God’s disowned country’, (with high crime rate-with as many as 910 cases of rape reported in the first half of last year, highest per capita consumption of alcohol in the country, beating Punjab in the process, and a snail-paced economic growth, if any). The most shameful decline of the the state is evidenced in her youths’ attitude towards women, with the pendulum swinging from ogling to rape. Temperament among young boys has undergone a sea change for the worse. Their hair ‘style’ resembles a nuclear explosion on their heads, with the hair, variously colored is manicured to resemble a mushroom (or is bunched up with various contraptions, that their differentiation from the female counterpart of their species is rendered quite arduous a task). Their trousers threatening to fall off anytime but for the Anterior Superior Iliac Spines (two bony prominences of the pelvic bones) is matched with a loose T-shirt that has been thirsting for water since purchase, the stink of which, along with that of tobacco in various forms puts a skunk to shame. Placing themselves on those modern-day agents of death called the two-wheeler, they writhe along nonexistent roads like a wounded snake, as if to keep their appointment with Peter at the golden gate(should they head that way at all), on time, on their way to mischief fuelled by booze, drugs and of course, ‘passion’. These youngsters, even with flaccid ‘organs’ are quite a handful, having succeeded in driving God himself out of Kerala! They can afford to have some degree of ED to keep them in check. In fact some amount of ED is the need of the hour!, rendering this vacuum operated devise a redundance to the Kerala of today. This devise in their shoulder bags could blow up Kerala into unrecognizable smithereens!