On October 26th, a nonagenarian sleeping in his veranda was attacked by a pack of five stray dogs, and was mauled so badly that he eventually died in the hospital despite being adequately treated. What a way to die! On the same day, a 2-year old girl playing inside her home was attacked by stray dogs. She was lucky to survive. I don’t mean to say that every dog in Kerala, also called ‘God’s own country’ decided to go mad on October 26th of 2016. This peculiar phenomenon of once ‘man’s best friend’ attacking him, badly enough to cause death and or grievous injury has been going on for quite some time. People, including children playing within the four walls of their homes have been attacked unprovoked. Instead of taking suitable action, the authorities, typically have taken to their favorite pastime- blame game. They say unscientific waste disposal is what causes the once docile animal to take law into their paws and teeth, which may be right. But, people cannot be allowed to be attacked by dogs, of all animals, until waste management is made scientific enough! The most alarming aspect of the whole thing is, as these animals go on a rampage, the so-called ‘animal lovers’, captained by a union minister, queue up to cry foul at and prevent attempts by the authorities to bring this menace under control. They are against all measures suggested to control the menace. Their all-encompassing love for this particular animal is quite queer.  That there are scores of people to ‘love’ and stand by these animals who attack human beings for reasons best known only to them, and none to lift a finger against humans attacking humans through murder, heist, rape, and, in these days scams, is appalling. Then there are people who ‘swing into action’ when those fancy flues like the bird flu, fish flu, prawn flu and other flues make their seasonal visits to the state. While The birds, fish, prawn and other creatures responsible for these flues (which are but variants of influenza, caused by mutants of the influenza virus which affects man only in a mild manner medically) are done away with, these stray dogs, which cause rabies, that result in death of the affected patient 100% of the time, is allowed to get away easily. Thanks to these animal rights activists and the Union Minister who audaciously says that ‘something must be wrong with Kerala for the strays to misbehave the way they do, only in the state’, God’s own country is now the ‘Dogs’ own country’. It belongs to that animal, who’s writ runs unchallenged The following commandments have been rightly been put in place for people planning to visit this ‘must visit’ tourist destination:

  • Get thyself vaccinated against rabies
  • Should thou be attacked by a dog, thou shalt not attack back, but turn the other side of the part of thine body attacked, if thou art alive.
  • Thou shalt not shout back at a dog barking at thee.
  • thou shalt not refer to or call a dog a ‘dog’, but only as Mr. Canis Lupus Familiaris, whatever be the provocation.
  • Thou shalt not remark derogatorily against the union minister who champions the rights of stray dogs that attack thee, for no reason of thine, but goes into ‘silent mode’ when women and children in the same state are raped to kill. For, that I none of thine business!